Friday, April 20, 2012

All the Hair Angst in the World . . .

I've been thinking about my hair lately. A lot. Because hair sucks. And the real problem isn't even that hair sucks it's that changing your haircut/style sucks. Because you aren't just making a decision that will affect your life right now, you have to live with what you do to it. Unless you are rich and can afford to have extensions put in if you chop all your hair off and you don't like it? Sucks for you. And you decide to grow it out for whatever reason you have to live with it in all it's awkward stages.

I love Facebook. But I hate it. Sometimes it's really useful and awesome and you can share exciting news with everyone at once and you can keep in touch with people that you might otherwise never talk to, but other times you want people's opinions and they don't take you seriously. Like today. When I wanted hair ideas. My uncle suggested a mohawk. Typical of him really. Actually that would probably be fairly typical of any of my uncles. They are just cool like that. Another friend gave me a one word suggestion, "bald." Really? My problem with these suggestions are such: 1) Am I that suggestible? Does it just take a one word suggestion of some outlandish idea for me to even consider? No reasoning? No "and here's why" ? Not that I have never considered the bald look, or even the mohawk. But I've ruled them out long ago because a mohawk is more work than I spend on my hair now, and I have a funny shaped head so if I were bald it would probably be all lumpy or something. And some people CAN pull off the bald look. Even some women. But it's not usually a look of choice. I'll wait until I have cancer for that one, thank you very much. 2) Sometimes, however small a percentage of the time, I want to be taken seriously. Considering how much I think about my hair, this is one of those times.

My biggest problem is that I think I should just be able to roll out of bed, throw on some clothes and just look fan-freakin'-tastic. I want hair that will let me do that. But I also want something ridiculously fun. The problem is that low maintenance haircuts tend to start getting boring after a while. At least, the ones I've had have.

I'm tired of hair angst. It just never goes away. Either it's there to tell me I need a change, or it's there to tell me I need a trim, or it's there to tell me that no matter what I do to my hair it's always gonna be blah (which isn't true, because I've had many a blah free hair day, but hair angst just gets you down).

I'd actually like to try a fauxhawk-able look, but I wonder if I can pull it off. Will it be too short? Will it draw attention to or away from my overweight figure? (Don't lie to me, I know it's there). Will Darrel sequester me to the closet to live the next year in shame while it grows out? (This is unlikely, he might pout though).

Right now I catch myself thinking about the scissors in the bathroom drawer. My bangs are too long and are irritating my eyes. I decided that if I keep my hair long my bangs need to grown out because they are all weird (from me trimming them myself and trimming more of my hair than are supposed to be bangs), but I can't stand the hair in my eyes on top of my allergies. It's just too much! But I know either I'll get the scissors and go to town and then realize what I've done, or Darrel will catch me in the act and I'll be in trouble (like a child). I've also thought about the hair clippers and how easy it would be to just make all the hair go away. See, I have thought about bald . . .