Move over Abby

Dear Abby this, dear Abby that. Sometimes I think I could give Abby a run for her money. The things I get asked for advice on would probably stump even that renowned guru. You might not think it possible, but the number of things I have been asked about range from what someone might like for their birthday to marriage and pregnancy.

I kid you not. I have been asked for advice about:
Birthday presents
Christmas presents
Telling parents she is moving out
How to know if a boy likes her
How to know if a girl likes him
Should she go to class or finish homework
How to flirt
What to do if he likes a girl that doesn't like him back
How to get over someone
If she is being a brat or not
Telling parents about car trouble that happened when her boyfriend was driving
Should she like someone or not
Should she play tennis with him
Should she go out with him
Should he go out with her
Long distance relationships
If she should tell him that she likes him
How to tell someone that he's not interested
Should she tell her parents about who she's dating
She hates her roommates, what should she do
His roommate smells like fish, how can he get rid of the smell
What should they say in whatever situation
She's pregnant, should she tell her parents, and if so how
She's engaged, should she tell her parents
Is she being stupid
She's confused about her boyfriend, what should she do
How do you spell . . .
Should she give her baby up for adoption
Wanting a divorce
Talking to parents about whatever really
Self-confidence issues
Compulsive lying
What shoes should she wear
Dating in general
What book to read
Why does my little brother hate him
Sharing the gospel
Is it silly if she gets married next year
The list could go on and on.

All in all, I don't mind being asked for advice. It's just that I find it funny when I'm asked about things I have absolutely no clue about. I have been on one date in my entire life, so that should pretty much nix any relationship advice. I depend quite strongly on spell-check. I never know what to buy people for Christmas or birthdays. I'm not the greatest missionary. The only things on this list that I feel even somewhat qualified to advise on is the shoes thing and the book thing. And maybe about if they are being stupid or not, I'm usually pretty good at that one.

The most frustrating thing about it is that I feel like despite my inexperience with most of these things, I feel like I give pretty sound advice. Which would be great if the people asking for advice would actually take it to heart. Unfortunately, I find that usually they ignore my brilliant advice and then find out later that it was the exact right thing to do. Of course as far as what book to read or which shoes to wear goes, it doesn't really matter, but on the big things?

All I'm saying is that if you are pregnant, then yes you should tell your parents. They didn't mean it when they said they would kick you out if you ever got pregnant without being married first. Yes you should tell your parents that you are getting married. Yes you are being a brat when you ask for a second iPod for Christmas because you want a pink one. When you are out with your boyfriend and the car hits a rock in the road that dents your frame, oil pan, and gives your car a flat, you should not tell your parents that it was your boyfriend driving at the time.

I mean, sometimes it is better if they just don't know.